leafvayne

sure beats the grassy knoll

2006-10-12T21:22:00.000-07:00

right in my own backyard...

huskin' a coconut

it was a sweet treat --

i sent one home to my brother, all the way to new york. just wrote the address on the coconut. mom said the mailman was even more excited than everyone else, and hand-delivered it to the door with a big smile.

the coconuts have been falling from our backyard tree... guess that's the closest thing we're gonna get to the fall foliage. too bad you can't rake them up and jump in a big pile of coconuts.

home = where my heart is.

2006-09-18T01:00:00.000-07:00

wow, i went home last month, and i think it saved me. i'm not sure how, but i know that there is something inside that just clicks when you're back in the land of your childhood. i really needed that.
it was so nice to be home, just cooking with my mom, chilling with my siblings, and trying to keep up with my nieces and nephews.

3 of my favorite things: my bro, acoustic guitar, and the NY woods. so nice.

camping with my bro.

my siblings' crazy kids

THIS is the real NY. forget the city.

kaua'i the garden isle

2006-07-15T14:47:00.000-07:00

aj, me, crystal - finding our way through an obscure trail on our way to kauai's most amazing swimming hole.

dragging my feet through the sand - 11 miles in at totally exhausted, at last we reached our final destination, where we camped and woke up early to hike 11 back the next day.

other than the times when i was trying to keep from crying out of fear, this was one of the most fulfilling hikes i've done.

whimpering along the kalalau trail

2006-07-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

last week i went to the island of kaua'i with a few friends.
our first and main goal was to hike and complete the 22-mile na pali coast trail.
it was an incredible, but humbling experience.
like the first time i tried to go body boarding (and was promptly hashed by the waves), i was reminded that nature's elements can rock me whenever they feel like it.
there were a few points on the trail when i seriously wondered if this would be my last hike ever...

but i was spared again, and left with a greater respect for the mountains, 2 girls who encouraged me along, the energizing power of trail mix, and my poor knees which handled the brutal terrain.

kaua'i is an amazing place. the entire island is like one small town. no big cities. the people were extremely warm and helpful, and reminded me how people have the potential to brighten each other's day, if they just extend themselves a little bit. we were spared several times during this trip by the care and concern of others.

a panoramic of the coast trail we hiked. i'll include more later...

everybody knows...it hurts to grow up

2006-06-17T04:16:00.000-07:00

"Enrich your life with the beauty around you. There is such an abundance of it."
—Elder Richard G. Scott
Ensign, Nov. 1999, 89

jenny and i are hosting our own little slumber party right this second. who's invited? - all of you. so come.

we are being inspired by the music we're listening to - ben folds. (we can't decide if we really like the sound or not - who is this guy???) and the quiet calm outside...

and we're ridiculously tired right now, so everything seems more profound. - or entirely void of reason.

we sat smiling around a bonfire on the sand tonight. i got off work late and approached from down the shore. the orange glow welcomed me to unknown faces. then i found jenny. we talked to our new korean friend huun (we'll call him mene-hune for short) until we were too tired to keep up the social stream...

...and i was about ready to go get an MRI.

2006-06-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

for the last week and a half, i have been a 1/2 to a full hour late to work.

lateness happens. i'm not usually that stickler (sp?) about punctuality, but this is ridiculous.
i work at 7am, and i have slept through my alarm for a week and a half!

i thought at first i wasn't getting enough sleep. so i tried to sleep more. like get six and a half hours, which is pretty good.

still late.

the last 3 days i have been thinking that i must be experiencing some neurological disorder or something. maybe my brain is out of whack and i am physically or chemically unable to rise when my alarm goes off.
maybe i am really getting that old, when your body starts teaching you to face the facts and deal with new inabilities. but i'm not ready for that...

finally today, when i took a nap and didn't wake up when my alarm was set, it dawned on me that maybe something is wrong with my alarm clock.

i put it through the test today, and what used to be a loud beep that would wake up my poor roommate when i let the snooze rule 3x before rising (yep, i'm one of those annoying roommates), has become a muted-muffled-almost-absent tone. i hadn't realized it earlier because the time still works fine, and the ring was going off, i just wasn't waking up to it.

yes! i'm not losing my mind! there is still a lot of early morning left in me!
now the only trouble is fetching a ride to walmart an hour away to replace old faithful.

2 blocks from my house:

2006-06-12T01:52:00.000-07:00

i just know no matter how much i try to appreciate where i live, i'm gonna be looking back in a few years thinking...
"man, i really should have taken more advantage of that place..."

what think ye?

2006-06-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

yesterday i called my (boy) cousin and launched into an extensive conversation -
one of those ones that you keep saying okay, okay, i gotta go...
but then 15 minutes later you're still talking (and that cycle happens about 3 more times)
but it was a great conversation, and he said something that made me really think...
(which can be a feat sometimes for me, especially in a phone conversation that extends beyond my usual threshold of 10 minutes)

he went to a catholic wedding a few months ago, and the pastor who was performing the ceremony said that "women seek a feeling of security in a relationship; whereas men seek a feeling of adequacy"

my cousin went on to explain, but i was busy trying to decide if it was true, based on my own feelings, and my past confused experiences with guys.
a pearl of insight or a load of rubbish? i think it's pretty valid.

what think ye'all?

the byronic hero

2006-06-07T14:53:00.000-07:00

NATURE IS THERE
AS A FRIEND

AND LIKE A FRIEND
SOMETIMES IT AMAZES YOU

OTHER TIMES IT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR WEAKNESS

Where rose the mountains, there to him were friends;
Where roll'd the ocean, thereon was his home;
Where a blue sky, and glowing clime, extends,
He had the passion and the power to roam;
The desert, forest, cavern, breaker's foam,
Were unto him companionship; they spake
A mutual language, clearer than the tome
Of his land's tongue, which he would oft forsake
For Nature's pages glass'd by sunbeams on the lake.

~Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage
Canto III

once i thought i met this person, who adored the beauty of the earth and had a drawing personality and expressed thoughts with curious language in a way i had never heard a person do. he had had a "majestic" presence, i once heard someone say about him, and i knew what that meant because i had felt it too.
but i think he was real too. by real i mean he liked pizza and napping and empty movies after a long day, just like the rest of us.
for months i think i was completely head-over-heels and saw nothing but his amazing qualities. i have realized since that he, like any person, had to deal with the mundane realities of life, and had as many weaknesses as anyone else. at first this gave me relief, since it brought him back down to earth where i lived. but now those mundane realities are what i love most about becoming acquainted with a person, much more than those qualities that used to so amaze me.

a series of beautiful events

2006-06-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

lately, i have had a sequence of little moments that add up to a reminder of how beautiful my life is, and how the gospel makes things just plain good.

the lovely girls i used to live with

making thai with mano

jenny and seth heading to hukilau at dawn

free your mind, and the rest will follow...

2006-05-28T03:34:00.000-07:00

i think it was janet jackson that sang that, when i was just a little one...

regardless of all the adorning sequence and tight jean and leather that acompanied the song,
there's a lot of truth in that statement.

i am grateful to have been forced to realearn the importance of freeing my mind lately.
and i have found that writing is an important way to do so.

i had a good talk with my friend brett last fall about my fear of writing.
as an english (education) major this is a somewhat strange and unexpected fact about me, i guess.

but i think it is precisely my major that has done it to me. (or at least i like to blame it on that)
because the more i learn to appreciate the good writers of the past and present, the more i see flaws in my own writing, and cannot enjoy it.
i also remember a professor once explaining to us in class that too many people think they can write good poetry. he explained how there are particular conventions that make "good" poetry, and not just anyone can whip up a poem and call it good without an understanding and gift to use and manipulate the conventions. i understood his point and somewhat took it to heart. i didn't want to be one of the inept writers who thought they had a gift while their professor was trying to keep from shooting them down. so i shot myself down before anyone else could.

but that's going to the pigs now. or to the dogs? what is that cliche anyways?
i'm all about whipping up bad poems and bad writing these days. i am having too many amazing experiences in my life right now to go any longer without recording them and their beautiful impact on my brain.

i am finding that it is, as janet promised, freeing my mind. and yes, the rest is following...

i love this guy

2006-05-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

i love this guy
who talks to me
and tells me i worry too much
and walks at night with me

i love this guy
who can't handle my emotions
and tells me he can't
and has more wisdom
even at 6 years younger

i love
i miss
i cherish
this kid who gives me advice
and hurts my feelings sometimes

and then apologizes

i am grateful
to know him
and i feel lucky
when he wants to spend time with me

and i'm glad he has to
because he's my brother

and even though he can't say i love you back
he shows it more than the sound of the words could.

conquering chinaman's hat

2006-05-05T11:50:00.000-07:00

yesterday key lime and i swam out to this amazing island named chinaman's hat.
actually i walked most of the way because the tide was low.
then we climbed to the very top and were reminded of the beauty of the earth and ocean.

what a place.
spring semester allows us to live the reality of school and work on MWF, and play in paradise on TTH. bliss.

discovering unrealized love...

2006-05-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

what in the world is non-euclidean geometry
i don't know either but i just shelved a whole book on the subject.

i love working at the library.
i walk through the tall narrow aisles of dark books
surrounded by wisdom and years of research and hard work
manifest in paper form

i never thought i would work at a library
never wanted to
after being restricted from the library twice in high school,
(as a result of my inability to whisper or hold in a laugh)
i have always held in disdain the atmosphere of a library

i can still see mrs. wells with her finger over her lip, giving me the glare.
when she gave me her disappointed shake of the head for the 3rd time, i knew i was out.

anyway, here i am, working at a library and loving it
until the time comes for me to put a damper on somebody's vocal life.

a grande thank you...

2006-04-01T00:34:00.000-08:00

sitting here in a beach house overlooking the wild waves crashing on the rocks outside.
thought i'd pull up old provo platinum on my computer...
just to see what's goin on back in a place from my past that seems further away than 2500 miles.

sounds like one and all are still living and loving...
and thanks for keeping me on the que, even though i haven't written a post since i left.
til now.

feels good to be included guys.
hope you all are well.
life is wonderful in this land of wet and green.

in greatest anticipation...

2005-12-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

supposedly,
one of the greatest icons of byu 177th ward will be returning to his old home tomorrow.

who is this soul
who causes such a frenzy at even the mention of his name?

i do hope to have a chance to catch a glimpse of "the" slarm,
and figure out what all the fuss is about.

good travels,
and yes ronnie, i will be your friend.

for bonesaw

2005-12-09T02:05:00.000-08:00

so i'm still up at this heinous hour getting a research paper.
just happened upon this enlightening definition.

smarm·y (smär'mē) adj., -i·er, -i·est.
1. Hypocritically, complacently, or effusively earnest; unctuous. Insincere earnestness.
2. Sleek.

so, bonesaw,
do you think she meant sleek?

i'm tired everybody

lovely late nights

2005-11-30T13:34:00.000-08:00

this one goes out to j-pie
and all the ress yall

cause late nights at vp have been a unique experience this semester.

usually we begin talking about going to bed at around 9:30pm.
then we listen to music and dance a bit
then we have a snack because somebody skipped making dessert at dg (no pressure guys)
then we put in a movie and turn it off after about 5 minutes
then we act like we're gonna go to bed and move the party into our room
then we exercise to guster
then russ or bryant knock at the door and we talk about nothin big
then i get on the laptop to begin writing a paper that's due tomorrow, but i decide it can wait til just before class
then j gets in bed
then i keep her up talking about the day
then i start crying about something because its too late and i can't think rationally
then i reluctantly tear out the perfectly-tucked sheets and get into my bed that j made
then j and i talk til our sentences don't make sense

and i love every second.

what happens in vegas...

2005-11-13T23:28:00.000-08:00

is an amalgamated whirlpool of the worst of everything.
and it smells too.

i was aghast at all the wanting bodies
who dressed like they were in a movie shoot.
and drank like it was a western.

oh yeah, and my backpack and all its contents were stolen.
but what should i expect?

an eyeful and empty facade.

one redeeming thing about the trip -
it makes ya appreciate the prov a little more,
and the spundicating social life here.

well, that's it...

2005-11-10T22:40:00.000-08:00

yep,
i'm taking off.
we're taking off.
to vegas.

so what is it about vegas you ask?
i don't know either - but that's where everyone goes for an escape from provo.
as if the flashy iniquity of vegas will free the mind of any element of bondage.
less than likely.

but the truth is,
i'm livin in the moment with the friends i love.
and in search of a little freedom.
doesn't matter where we go.

plus, my sis lives in vegas.
a little time with a real family in a real house in a real neighborhood
outta do somethin.

freedom: (n.) the ability to feel love for everyone.

quarter of a century joy

2005-11-03T23:15:00.000-08:00

this being the very day of my first ever quarter of a century birthday, i (with the help of my computer-savvy acquaintences) now officially create my personal blog.
considering most of my young friends (who are several years shy of the big twenty five) already have their very own blogs, it is about time that i pick up on the new wave popularity of blogging.
but hey, i'm an old lady now, and entirely justified in resisting technological change if i want.
but in this case, i'll join the fun.

if every day is as good as this 25th b-day, i'll have the best life ever. 25 years of living, loving, laughing and falling apart.